不是我不明白

Sometimes, I really don't understand myself!
I don't even know what I am doing!
Keep on telling myself to let go!
Yet I seems to let go physically but not mentally!
I keep telling myself that I don't deserve you because I am not a very good guy!
I keep destroying my hopes towards you!
I keep force myself not to talk to you!
I try to make you hate me so that I could totally move on!
I try so hard to think about you!
I keep trying all the thing I could do to make myself to forget but it seems so hard!
WHY???
I want to know why???
I am really miserable and tired already!
I know it is an end but yet I still believe there are still bit chance!!!!!!
I hate myself to have that bit of chance!!!!!!!!!! '
I want to know what I could do much???
Can you give me a tight slap so that I could totally be gone?
HAIHZ!!!!!!!!!!

I DON'T DESERVE THIS SERIOUSLY!
I DON'T DESERVE A CHANCE!
CANT I JUST LET GO?
WHY??? ARGH!

HAIHZ! I AM LOST SERIOUSLY! I KNOW I MUST LOSE COMPLETELY SO THAT I WONT LOOK BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


HAIHZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!